The Quest For Cosmic Significance

And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper? – Genesis 4:9

As an observer of human nature, it’s clear that human beings are extremely driven creatures. All of us have strong drives and work hard to achieve our goals – as various and seemingly incongruent as they are. The question arises: What are we seeking?

In The Symposium, Plato argued that at the creation we were all hermaphrodites but that at some point God separated us into male and female and ever since we’ve been seeking our other half for a sense of completion.

Ernest Becker refined the idea with the aid of psychoanalysis in his classic The Denial of Death (1973). Becker argued that we are all deeply aware of our mortality at an unconscious level and are striving to overcome it through a sense of Cosmic Significance. That is, death being so difficult to deal with, all human being attempt to overcome it by pursuing the goals they think will make them matter beyond death. Most follow cultural scripts; a few will seek their own path. Many try to amass as much wealth as possible. Some write books. Others have children that persist after they are gone.

When you understand that human beings seek a sense of Cosmic Significance, a lot of things start to make sense. For instance, competition becomes completely comprehensible. If I’m number one, then I must matter. If I’m better than you, then I must matter more than you. In other words, the quest for Cosmic Significance explains the constant comparing each of us does to other people.

Unfortunately, death will come for us all and the quest for Cosmic Significance is only an attempt to quell our anxiety while destined to fail in actually overcoming death. The question that arise at this point is: What really matters then?

Kobe Bryant once said that when he was young he wanted to be the greatest basketball player of all time – better than Michael Jordan. But as he got older, his perspective changed. His goal became to inspire those that came after him. When the tennis player Naomi Osaka told him that she wanted to be as good as him, he replied: “Don’t be as good as me. Be better.”

I believe that Kobe was on to something. Competition will always be a part of human nature but superiority over other people does not mean you won’t die. I think that what Kobe understood is that we are all talented and driven and while we want to make the most of our own lives, so does everyone else.

When you get beyond your own personal need for self esteem and Cosmic Significance, you realize that other people are all struggling with the same impossible existential predicament. And that leads to Compassion. The only way to create a better world – one in which more people will find a sense of mattering – is to embrace other people as much as you can.

I say “as much as you can” because boundaries are always necessary. Some people are too far gone and misguided; you can’t save them and trying to may cost you a lot. But – to whatever extent possible – understand and act on the principle that you are your Brother’s Keeper. All of us are responsible for our own lives – but also for helping and inspiring others to be the best they can and feel like they matter. No one is coming. We’re all in this together.

Charlie Munger once said that the best thing one person can do for another is to help them to know more. But actually the best thing one person can do for another is to help them feel like they matter. Because people who feel like they matter are motivated to make the best of their lives. At the end of the day, death will come for us all and the only justification any of will have is that we did the best we could with the life we led.